リラックマ

sometimes is really hard to say

what you feel deep down inside
but when you know the tears r there
u wish for comfort
the ups n downs in life
ii feel happy
while iim not
losing control over my feelings
is one unbearable pain
giving ups have crossed over my mind for long
yet the heart is just too weak that it could be consoled
two parties pushing me one way and the other
both r my love
neither do i wan to hurt either
but do they give me a chance
wad ii wish for is just some space
i long for freedom
long for my own life
you r right
iim growing more selfish
ii hav been thinking for myself
never try to think for others
iim sorry for those ii hurt
ii never want too hurt any
many people are just wearing masks
hiding their true self
they say one but mean the other
why cant they be honest
maybe this question is pointing out to myself too

despite the loss in life
chopstick's presence make me feel at ease
i see chopstick play with all his might
chopstick lay on the ground
venting all his anger on the lifeless ground
yet i know he is venting on himself
how ii wish to be there for him
telling him is okay
pictures of him filled my phone
friends laughed but it doesn't affect me
last year you were just standing beside my class
we are like so near
yet so far
never notice your presence
ii regret
fate has made me feel you again
ii believe in fate
but these feelings should not be revealed
they wil only be kept within myself
we walked pass each other
no hellos
-complete strangers
my heart is reachng out -

long rides are not to my favour these days
although it should be an old time of mine
but not now
lonelinesss i wanna rid of
neglections leave me astray
iim in comparable with a stray cat
craving for attention
people walking passs
iim in my world of mine
just then ii realise comfort come within yourself
ii must learn to spread my own wings n fly
not by relying on others

love
xinyi